TO MY SECRET LOVE...

dear secret love,
though itzz been agezz since we've known each other...since we've been friends...the sight of you never failzz to gladden my heart....while walking with you on the road of friendship,i didnt even know when my feelingzz took a turn..and i began to feel 'in tat manner' about you..no longer seeing you as "awww...hezz just a friend.."..my galfriend even warned me "girl dont even dare go down that lane with him...you'll lose a friend too".my mind was listening and itched to obey..but too bad i realised my heart had walked miles ahead anyway...!!
I no we've known each other since the time we were toddlers..and i've embarassed myself in front of you more than there are stars in the sky..!!each time i wanted to run away and hide my face...but i couldnt..i just stood beside you,watching you while you laughed and then smiled when u said," gosh man,you can be so funny!!"..i loved hearing you say that,i'll confess..!!i wonder why u didnt understand that watever i did was to seek your attention,so that you'd notice me??!! and yeah when u laughed,i laughed..coz i knew that atleast you felt happy with me..!!!
all the times we met,though there would be so many people around,i only wanted you..!!i wanted to sit beside you,talk only to you..have your full attention all the time..!!and when u even turned ya head to have a word with anyone else...i so felt like clawing that person's eyes out..!!i felt so possessive about you...!!
i knew always that there could be nothing between us..we'd alwayzz remain buddy buddy friends..all the while..but still i couldnt stop loving you..and anywayzz as a famous saying goes.. "forbidden fruit is alwayz sweet..!!"and as it is,you always treated me as a guy,one of your kind..i havent forgotten all the jokes,the backslaps(my back still hurtzz by the way..!!:-)...),the "wassup dude..!!chants,playing cricket with ya(i used to be a champ batsman by the way..!!)the "lezz go for a round at eleven in the night(and i wud b like guys,i wont be allowed coz i'm a girl!!forgotten??!!*makes an ugly face*),all that stuff still makes me smile..!!!
i remember a time when i thought i'd almost never smile again..only coz u said,"itzz high time i had a girlfriend..i think i shud begin to search for one".(btw i think tizz line of yazz is way too tacky...!!)i grinned painfully,so wanting to throttle whoever girl you find anway!!i wanted to jump so bad and dance in front of you,declaring pompously tat,"you idiot,i'm sitting next to you..just say the golden words.."but i couldnt and you knew i never would...!!
only my heart knows how deep and how true my love for you is...but at the same time,i'd never confess it to you..why..??coz for one i no you never have and never will see me in "that manner". i'll alwayz remain your "good old buddy"..the second reason is that i never would want to change the way it is between us...(laughing with your hand around my back,walking me home eben if it is late evening,all those sarcastic commentz,those grinzz,the laughter..)i never would want to change it even a bit..but the most important reason is that i never want to lose you as a friend... not insult our friendship which has stood the testing time,not insult the fun we've had,the secrets we have shared,the memoriezzz that will alwayzz remain...!!
why i'm writing this now..is because i like a new guy now..hezz in my college..!!but i'll tell you the truth. i could never like him the way i liked you..coz more than my love for you,we've been friends more than a decade..i could never no him as well as i no you..!!never get to spend the time we have,,the fun we have had...!!the stupid,silly and kiddish stuff we've done..all that now remains only as memories..!!and i'm happy and greatful for them..i'll confess..!!
i just hope that when we grow old..hair all white,wrinkled skin and barely enough strength to walk..when we meet and remember the "good old dayz"and when i finally would confess my love for you,you'd pat me lightly and comment "gosh..gal..the thingz you do.. wish you'd told me this that time..!!"and we are able to laugh it out..i really do hope and pray that such a time ever comezz....
i'll remember you forever..for you are and will alwayzz remain my secret love,
love,
your secret admirer..!!

itzz frndship day!!

first thingzz first yesterday was frndshipzz day..so herezzz wishing all a very very happy frndshipzz day!!!(bit kiddish??lolz...!!!)for me it was a fabzzz day!!wazzz life without frndzz tell ya??!!so we all got together ta have a blasssTT!!!and tat we did!!the "PURE SOULS" tatzz me,amu,kitz,nihar and Caran...!!we all met up and had a whale of time!!no with them itzz really kool..i can behave the way i wanna..not caring a hoot about "mannerzz or shezz so childish" commentzzz!!!coz they're a bunch of chilled out people really!!kitzz mum had made us some idlizz which were like mouth-watering!!(yumm..i over ate!!lolzz...)we got talking about our sathaye-college dayzz...and in no time we were rolling with laughter on the ground!!!there wazz( still izz there)math prof called 'anil nayak'....!!hezz the most pathetic proff or even person i've ever had the misfortune of meetin!!i remember during the firzzt lec,he started talkn instead of mathzz about 'sania mirza'z skirtz and about aishwarya rai'.his list of antics also included 'writing the number five on the blackboard and then proclaiming that he'd studied math so advanced that he was told that 'tizz is the number five??naa!!itzz the symbol for five,it represents five..it will perform all the functionzz five wil...but still itzz not the number five'and then he expected us to smile appreciatively..almost the whole class smiled....grinned more of("u idiot of a prof..if itzz so then wat the f*** is it???!!!)i personally wanted ta take out my shoe and hit him!!!then one time he called us studentzz 'bast***s'...tatzz coz one frnd of mine was wearing ankletz and her moving(though he didnt no tat)was causing noise(??)to disturb the whole class and his teaching(???).but i'd say the whole truth..another of a frnd was making some really annoying sound by rubbing her scale against a piece of chalk(try it....great resultzz)watever it may b..i dont think tat empowerss him ta use his brand of foul languauge on us...!!and anyway his leczz were all crap!!(a walking sleeping pill if there was ever one)but more than that i hated his "look-i've-written-many-books-studied advanced-math so i'm the greatest(*pukez*)math prof out here attitude!! i mean man really wat the F***???but really remembering his anticzzz had us in splitz.now it izz..back then i cud've hit his head with a shoe so that it wud've knocked some common sense inta him!!!hahhaha!!in sathaye,the peonzz i've ta admit would seem more sensible and better turned out than the profzz(forget teaching,they barely knew english!!)like one who use ta call ball a "BOL"and "velocity and acceleration" woukd be "veeeliiiyocityy and asselirashioN" we would be left to decipher the meanings for ourselves!!!really surviving them was an adventure in itself..!!after sathaye and itzz profzz,we did some typical bonkergiri....(posing for photozz.. taking some hilarious videoss)and then settling for a chat again..!!tizz time it was about a frnd of ourzz whozz acting really mean thzzz dayzz!!bitching may b!!but it was fun(hahaha)and i mite add tat i'm really famous among my frndzz for "GIGGLING"(hahahaa!!!)the way three hourzz passed and i stilll didnt wanna let go(puhleeze god..puhlezze..some more time with them)!!but go i had to!!so all in all one of my favorite dayzz!!herezzz saying cheerzz to the spirit of "FRIENDSHIP"!! Cheerz and for now adiozz!!!